Love. What is it? How would you define it?
What image did it form when the question was asked: "what is love?".
Most probably you thought of a person with romantic kind of love. The couple thing and the happily ever after kind of.
You thought of love of the family, friends perhaps.
You thought about the love of nature, the creator. Maybe you thought of the self-love.
The definition of love is akin the exploring of the universe. Not all of it obvious. Every moment is a new experience and a new kind of emotion is generated, a whole new definition of love altogether.
There are explicitly more kinds than we see in the movies. Does love, in general, come from the same source, or can we categorize different kinds of love? And which factor leads to which kind of love?
Psychologist John Allen Lee used several Greek words for love to portray the different kinds we come across. Let's see what he conveys.
Primary types of love: Just like the primary colors, we have three kinds of love in this category. These are the basic categories building other forms of love.
They are Eros, Ludus, and Storge.
When these three are combined the secondary types of love emerge.
1)Eros: Eros was the son of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Eros is passion, erotic and sexual and is also linked to the modern ‘romantic love‘.
This is highly intense kind of love and based on chemistry, pheromones, and instincts. This one is related to the words " Love and Lust ".
The traits are:
– In the search for sexual adventures and variety.
– Feels ready for the risks accompanied by love.
– Partners are often strangers in the beginning which evokes excitement.
– The relationship can be exclusive but not possessive.
– The relationship is based on a strong physical and emotional connection.
2) Ludus: Childish or playful love, Ludus comes from the Greek word game. It is seeing and interpreting love as a game. Imagine a night out at a bar when you find someone who you can fool around.
With Ludus comes flirtatious behavior. Sex is seen as a sport, a way to be kept entertained. It can be often chased away if the partner wants to get too intimate.
The traits of Ludus are:
– Can have multiple partners at the same time.
– No intentions of falling in love.
– Sex is being seen as a sport or fun, one night stands, without emotional connections.
– When things get too serious tends to show the urge to quit the relationship.
3) Storge: Storge is the Greek word for natural affection, family love or the love between friends. This type of love is highly affectionate. The bond between parent and child. There are strong necessities for loyalty, you know, ‘Blood is thicker than water’.
There are many responsibilities, duties, and entitlements in this type. Giving the sense of security in the time of need.
The traits belonging to the Storge are:
– Not based on sexual desires.
– Quietly possessive yet not overly jealous.
– Has trust and loyalty as its foundation.
So, these were just the primary classifications of love. In my next story comes the secondary or evolutionary classifications.