What is Love: By the Enlightened

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Looking at the meaning of true love, Sadhguru gives us a powerful process for taking love beyond words to make it an enduring quality within.    


"Neither can you learn,  

 Nor can you practice, 

 Nor can you dispense it, 

 It's just a flowering..."


The English expression, “Falling in love,” is significant because no one rises in love or climbs in love. You fall in love because something of who you are has to go. If not the whole of you, at least a part of you should collapse. Only then there is a love affair. You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. It essentially means someone else has become far more important than yourself.    


What love is not...  

Unfortunately, what most people call “love” is just a mutual benefit scheme.    


A so called love story...  

One day, a man named Shankaran Pillai went to a park. There was a pretty woman sitting on a stone bench there. He went and settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes, he moved a little closer to her. She moved away. Again, he waited for a few minutes and inched a little closer to her. She moved away. He waited again and then inched even closer. By then she had moved to the very end of the bench. He reached out and put his hand on her. She shrugged him off. He sat there for a while, then went down on his knees, plucked a flower, gave it to her and said, “I love you. I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life.”    She melted. Nature took over and they had their way with each other. It was getting late in the evening; Shankaran Pillai got up and he said, “I need to leave. It’s eight o’clock. My wife will be waiting.”    She said, “What? You are leaving! You just said you loved me!”    “Yes, but it’s time. I need to go.”    

Generally, we have made relationships within frameworks that are comfortable and profitable for us. People have physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social needs. One of the best ways to fulfill these needs is to tell people, “I love you.” This so-called “love” has become like a mantra: open sesame. You try to get what you want by saying it.    

Every action that we do is in some way to fulfill certain needs. If you see this, there is a possibility that you can grow in love as your natural quality. But people go on fooling themselves into believing that the relationships they have made for convenience, comfort, and wellbeing, are actually relationships of love. I am not saying there is no experience of love at all in those relationships, but it is within certain limitations. It does not matter how much “I love you” has been said, if a few expectations and requisites are not fulfilled, things will fall apart.

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